Anti-Banker Protests: The Weigh-In

Ahead of the “Parade Against Financial Crimes” protest that’s going down on Wednesday, along with all the other myriad protestations, the various parties are sizing each other up. In the blue corner is Chris Knight and his band of teapot-wielding moderate anarchists; in the red corner are the bankers, who are dusting down their rugger skills and getting ready to bring the pain!

Kudos to Kurt Jones at the Telegraph for putting up with the maddeningly vague wittering of Knight and his cronies in first a squat and then under some Shoreditch pub – he’s leaked back some of the plans of the gang. Knight wants the Bank of England to be a state-run brothel (good to see he’s taking it seriously), while there’s also Marina Pepper’s plan to drink tea, because it’s what we do in times of crisis – she’s worried there won’t be enough pots to go round apparently. Someone’s bringing a giant anaconda, others a going to do a silent dance – it’s real storming-the-barricades stuff.

While the amalgam of every activist cause glued together under a vague G20 umbrella will at least mean big numbers, there a lack of common ground that’s sure to doom everything to incoherent failure. At a flash mob last week attended by the Independent, Tasmin Omond, the climate change activist who climbed onto the roof of the Houses of Parliament, was branded a “stupid twat” by anarchist leader Ian Bone. “Listen to her accent. She’s just one of those climate-change lot who do a bit of environmental action to get it on their CV before going back to live in their big house with mum and dad.” Ah, putting aside class jealousy and kneejerk sexism to go after the big issues – there’s going to be a new Britain come the end of the week, I just know it!

Bankers have been encouraged to dress down in chinos and loafers during the week, in order to avoid being targeted by protestors, but, as Imogen Fox astutely notes in the Guardian, “chinos and loafers simply reek of money and poshness. Bankers who choose this option might as well wear a T-shirt with a slogan that reads ‘I spent my bonus on a yacht’”. She suggests rocking a Ronson vibe, but bankers are standing their ground. ”I’m actually thinking of putting on a three-piece suit and an extra tie just to provoke them,” one banker told Aussie channel ABC, which is in the right spirit of aggression, though wearing an extra tie would just make you look mental and someone to be avoided. 

But the bankers aren’t just refusing to compromise sartorially – they’re getting ready to actually fight back. Check out this great piece on Bloomberg today, with bankers full of the mind-games rhetoric and verbal sparring more suited to Premiership news conferences or boxing weigh-ins. “We’re not all pansies”, says insurance director Graham Williams. “Most us have played rugby or boxed”, he added, rather overestimating the presumed gentlemanliness of the protestors’ tactics.

Meanwhile the police are going to have Tasers. I think we all know how this is going to end.

Posted by Ben Beaumont-Thomas in Hot Money | March 30, 2009 1:17PM |