Governor Of New York, David Patterson, Discovers You Can’t Fire A Sea Lion, But You Can Cut Its Funding

It’s not only us walking talking humans that will be losing out in these budget-less times, as Governor David Patterson announces plans to slash spending on the animal-based tourist cooing centres of New York by 50% this year, and deleting it completely by 2010. “We can’t fire our bears or furlough our sea lions”, said John Calvelli from the Wildlife Conservation Society, in a statement a little beside the point. You can however, tell them they have jobs, then fire them. I doubt they’d bring a tribunal to your door. 

Expect America’s streets to be full of begging chimps and flamingos pimping themselves out for cash within the next 12 months, as budget cuts in zoos and aquariums are made faster than the Madoff scandal unravelled.  

But it’s not all bad for creatures, as it was also announced yesterday that Land of Leather is going into administration, after it ran out of working capital and failed to find a buyer, despite being free of debt.  

Maybe this is all a good thing…the nasty men stop killing the poor moo-cows to make into budget sofas, and all you freaky animal-wuvvers finally get to take the animals home from the zoo with you, where you will be subject to a speedy form of natural selection.

Posted by Jennifer Allan in Hot Money | January 14, 2009 1:02PM |