Madoff-Branded “Emergency Kit” for Sale on eBay, in Moment of Glorious Comic Timing

Stuck for last-minute Christmas present ideas? Life savings destroyed by colossal swindler Bernard Madoff? Don’t worry – eBay’s got the answer!

First up, there’s this cosy Madoff-branded fleece. After 14 bids and still with 3 days to go, it’s going for $300, clearly quite the collector’s item already. Paired with a voodoo doll and sacrificial fire, it makes the perfect gift for anyone wronged by Bernie!

You can also stay warm with a “I Handed Bernie Madoff 50 Billion And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” t-shirt, or a “I Lost My Shirt During A Weekend At Bernie’s” jumper, or this “I Got Robbed By Bernie Madoff” crewneck sweater – man, those slogan printers are quick off the ball these days.

Or how about a Madoff messenger bag? You could use it to carry envelopes full of anthrax to his front door as he awaits trial, as well as to the feeder funds who didn’t tell you the risks thanks to their own greed!

But surely the greatest gift of all is the Madoff-branded “emergency kit” complete with blanket, whistle and purified water. Seems to be missing a few keys items though – the loaded pistol, the diverse investment portfolio, the ability to travel back in time, etc. Still, it’s only $3.25. Apparently it was given out to every Madoff employee to be used in case of emergency; the image of Bernie sat catatonically huddled in a blanket, sucking on a purified water pouch as the FBI come to get him, is truly indelible.

Posted by Ben Beaumont-Thomas in Hot Money | December 17, 2008 1:56PM |