Alex Salmond Slips In Dodgy Local Income Tax, Gets Told To Join Gym By The Guardian

Alex Salmond, the Scottish PM who dreams of a Scotland floating away from England on a sea of oil, has waited until all eyes are turned on Number 11 Downing Street before revealing plans to press ahead with a controversial ‘local income tax’. It’s not just the oil that’s slick!

A report released by the SNP this week claims that the majority of people asked about the new local income tax thought it was far bonnier than council tax, but businesses aren’t so enamoured. It will impose greater administrative charges on businesses, especially those with a high staff turnover like tourism. Do you mean the tourism that’s a central part of Salmond’s vision for a prosperous Scotland? Thought so.

Scottish Chamber of Commerce oppose it, CBI Scotland oppose it, the Tory and Labour finance spokesmen oppose it, and 66% of 34-54 year olds, the largest section of the workforce, oppose it. And this report that shows that everyone loves local income tax was created from just 500 responses, of which the vast majority were individuals; only 10 businesses or organisations supported it. Hence the thoughtful timing just as everyone’s going nuts over UK-wide income tax changes.

Salmond’s been raising hackles south of the border too, by complaining about Darling’s pre-budget report that cuts £500m from Scotland’s budget. Darling, who’s clearly now one Scottish PM comment away from a stress-induced psychotic episode, said of Salmond on Newsnight: ”If he thinks he can’t be more efficient, no doubt he will let us know why. I don’t believe it’s beyond the wit of either Alex Salmond’s administration – and remember, he has got double what Donald Dewar had eight years ago – or beyond the wit of us at UK level to be more efficient.” Served!

Maybe we shouldn’t bash Salmond too hard though, as he’s been feeling a bit ropey recently. He’s had to have a week off sick from a chest infection, prompting this piece from Severin Carrell in the Guardian that’s like a upper-middle-class version of those Reveal magazine articles that feign concern for Cheryl Cole’s weight but actually gleefully sharpen their talons on her vulnerable, papped frame: “Observers and opponents at Holyrood have watched his waistline grow, his pallor grey and the tiredness around his eyes increase markedly”. Carrell later tells Salmond to “eat properly and join a gym”, before scouring pictures of deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon for evidence of cellulite.

Rather than heed Carrell’s advice though, Salmond has taken to a more traditional Scottish form of medicine – hard liquor. After cancelling a week of engagements, Salmond lurched out of bed for the chance to open a new whisky distillery in his constituency. Get well soon, Al!

Posted by Ben Beaumont-Thomas in Hot Money | November 26, 2008 1:29PM |