The Guardian’s Advice: Hike, Grow Salad, Buy Wine

As Jenkins burbles on from his Auden-robbing opening (“Throw away the newspaper. Turn off the radio. Forget the bank”) into a wandering of sub-Wordsworth imagery (“Fountains oozed from tussocks and sprouted from cracks”), he starts to chuck in various bugbears. He notes some schoolkids on a hike, “fighting their way to the top through obstacles laid in the way of all school trips by the health and safety executive”. Well done Jenkins, sock it to the government where it really hurts! Really go after those big issues, bring every last ounce of your journalistic skill to bear on what is most pressing, execute your responsibility as a fully paid member of the commentariat to lead us through these troubling times… “Sheep overstocking” and “a pestilence of wind turbines” also get a similar knocking.   

To all the 65-year-olds facing ten more years of work, or the children’s hospices facing closure, lazy suggestions that they just opt out of it all are hugely offensive. The Saturday Guardian continues the theme, with “The credit munch” – “Grow your own salads now, and you’ll be harvesting leaves – and saving money – until next year”. Sounds yum! Or why not try investing in wine and taking your house off the national grid. Huzzah!