Simon Jenkins: Returns From Mountain, Now In XTC Over Economic Crisis

“Simon, dude, are you stoned?”, wrote one incredulous commenter after Simon Jenkins’s barking mad Guardian leader piece from last Friday, in which he escaped the financial crisis to ascend a mountain and survey all creation, momentarily casting himself as Moses:

“The three western fingers of the Mawddach, Dysynni and Tal-y-Llyn valleys were a landscape of inundation… Bridges were dams and valley bottoms were under water… The whole of Merionethshire was an advertisement for climate change, with the sea swarming inland from Cardigan Bay to warn of things to come. Boats could have been sailed up the Dysynni to lay siege to Castell y Bere, as did Edward I against Llywelyn. This was truly an Ararat moment.”

Well, today he’s not just stoned but positively pilled up to the eyeballs.

“My ongoing search for good news among the ruins is proving ever more fruitful. When I left the estate agent I immediately bought shares in kindness, with a side bet on courtesy and brotherly love”, he burbles. “Is it bright in here?”, he added two hours later, as his eyes darted around while vociferously masticating some Juicy Fruit.

Other zingers from the gurning hack:

“Taxing will have to join hands with spending”

“Teenagers will be civil to their parents…Taxis are suddenly available”

and

“While it may be too early for a bull market in gaiety, we can surely start investing in sanity…”

Yes, let’s start investing in sanity. Starting with a full-blown Jenkins bailout.

But hey, at least the Guardian appears to have called off its witch hunt for Fear.

Posted by Ben Beaumont-Thomas in Hot Money | October 17, 2008 12:29PM |