Derivatives Beast Has Eaten All The Fake Wealth Of These Gnomes, Apparently

One of our favourite blogs throughout this whole crisis has been Elaine Supkis’s “Culture Of Life News” (not really sure where the emphasis is meant to fall).

She looks at every major event in the crisis with a cast of mythic characters, creating a rambling, dementedly metaphorical and intensely felt commentary: like Brass Eye presented by a batty aunt.

On the G7: “They want the Goddess of Inflation to fly like a kite from hell…at 0% interest, of course”.

On the U.S. bailout: “Instead of playing hard ball to get things righted, the US is playing Santa and going insane. Time for a hippie musical interlude from the British rock band [posts video of "Down Down" by Status Quo]. Down the rabbit hole we go! ‘Give me the power to blow up everything with huge nuclear fission bombs!’ cries the President of the United States. ’OK, a great choice’, says the Death God who hands his scythe to the mortal leader. Off he goes and merrily butchers women, children, cats, birds, horses, the elderly, school girls, shop keepers, insects, everyone in two cities. Boom. Dead and vaporized! Oh, a great success story, that! The gnomes who run our economic systems go into this cave every day. And ask for the same thing: ‘Make us richer and richer, more and more.’ The Goddess of Inflation always says, ‘You know, you will have to kill and loot other nations to do this?’ And the gnomes say, ‘Kill them all! Give us the money!’ So she hands it over with glaring, happy eyes. She sharpens her dinner knives, forks and spoons, preparing herself to dine in glorious joy. The gnomes are extremely happy today. They will pull unhappy faces in public but are shaking hands and whooping with joy.”

On promised unlimited dollar funds from the Federal Reserve: “Inflation grins as she flexes her powerful wings. ‘Ah, my dear, beloved baby, Derivatives Beast, has eaten all the fake wealth of those gnomes! Now they are praying to me and hope I will take flight! Whee!’”

On Generally Accepted Accounting Principles: “Prudence: I call her ‘Safety.’ Speculators hate her, they love ‘Risky’ who is a frisky, cheeky prostitute of a girl goddess. Safety is an angel and thus, hated by all gnomes. Being creatures of the night, they love caves and death.”

Accompanying these are the crudely drawn computer cartoons you see.

OK, OK, I’m choosing the crazy stuff. Elaine is clearly a passionate person who is bubbling over with the injustices of this whole mess, and in her zeal to try and explain herself she loses a bit of coherence along the way. Compared with the black-and-white fare offered by most political blogs, reading hers is like being dropped into Oz.

Posted by Ben Beaumont-Thomas in Hot Money | October 17, 2008 12:39PM |